Cranial Failure Recovery

This is an automated news broadcast from your friends at Lunar Anomaly L42.

The Overlord has regained consciousness today for the first time since he suffered a Massive Cranial Failure upon the death of his brain. However, when doctors tried to assess the extent of the damage by asking if he could remember his name, The Overlord was reported to have said "I am...THE BATMAN!"  and demanded that his utility belt be returned to him. When told he was not "Batman", The Overlord responded by breaking the doctor's nose. The Overlord has since spent four hours running down corridors insisting that he is "The Batman" to anyone who will listen, has tried to jump out of at least three windows, and has now taken to clinging to the light fixtures. All attempts by the orderlies to remove him from the ceiling have failed. Their current plan of action involves prodding at him with a broom. He has demanded that he be allowed to bring "The Joker" to justice.

On a completely unrelated note: All clowns are required to report to the nearest checkpoint for "inspection."

Cuddle-Wuddle Zombie!

New, from the makers of Do-Not-Taunt Bunny, comes the Cuddle-Wuddle Zombie! Freshly risen from the grave, Cuddle-Wuddle Zombie is fun for the whole family! Cuddle-Wuddle Zombie makes a great pet for children! They'll just love cuddling with Cuddle-Wuddle Zombie, and they'll love his zany antics too, as he shambles about the yard looking for meat! Dogs love him too! They'll enjoy spending hours gnawing on Cuddle-Wuddle Zombie's leg! Even grandpa will love the way he keeps the neighbor kids off the lawn! Cuddle-Wuddle Zombie is cuddly-wuddly fun for the whole family, so order yours today! To order call 1-800-666-1313 now! That's 1-800-666-1313 now! And if you call in the next ten minutes, we'll send you a Lovey-Dovey Cyborg for free!

(Warning: Cuddle-Wuddle Zombie is not safe for anyone. By ordering a Cuddle-Wuddle Zombie you waive your right to sue Lunar Anomaly L42 over any property damage, injury, illness, death, or reanimation caused by Cuddle-Wuddle Zombie. Side effects of Cuddle-Wuddle Zombie include sweating, fever, nausea, vomiting, insomnia, necrosis, death, reanimation, zombie outbreaks, and love.)

Now Cuddle-Wuddle Zombie is available in three colors! Classic Zombie Green, Death Grey, and of course, Cuddle-Wuddle Pink!

Call now!

Massive Cranial Failure.

The police standoff with The Overlord's rogue brain came to an end this morning, when police ordered snipers to fire on the brain. The brain's death was confirmed at 9:45AM. Upon the brain's death The Overlord, who was giving the commencement speech for his pancake breakfast, was reported to have said "ARGLEBARGLEGARGLEHHHHUUUUUuuUuuUuUuuuUUuUUUuuuuuuuRRrRRRRrRrRrrrRrrrrRrr...RRrrRRRrRrrrR...rrrrrRrrrrr...rrr...Rrr...rrrrrrDERP." before collapsing into a pile of radioactive pancakes. He twitched for several minutes before coming to a rest. The pancake breakfast was a rousing success.

News Update #2

Greetings, people of Earth! This is your overlord speaking, fully recovered from the recent petting zoo incident. I assure you that the incident will not be repeated, as appropriate containment procedures have been put in place. Namely, signs have been erected to inform both personnel and tourists not to taunt the bunnies.  It won't happen again.
*red alert*
...
Ahem.
I would like to inform you that The Moonbase will be hosting a breakfast tomorrow morning. Of special interest will be fresh pancakes made right in the heart of one of my nuclear reactors. Remember, the green glow just means I love you!

Now for an automated news update from your friends at Lunar Anomaly L42.

The standoff between The Overlord's brain and Mexico's police force continues, however the brain has released the hostages under the police threat of drinking a milkshake too fast. In the past few hours the brain has engaged police in several short-lived firefights. Three officers have been wounded, and the brain claims to have enough guns, ammo, and caffeine to resist arrest indefinitely.

One of the experts dispatched to investigate the recent surplus of pink tutus has been found. He was discovered hiding in the storeroom of a hat shop in London, and his discovery was promptly relayed to The Overlord. When the recovery team arrived on the scene they inquired as to how he had gotten from the United States to England in the first place, to which he reportedly responded "So much frill!" before slipping into a coma. He has been transferred to Lunar Anomaly L42 for further analysis. When asked for comment, The Overlord had this to say: "It's all hoopy here, man. Positively hoopy. No problems at all." Shortly thereafter is was discovered that the person asked for comment was not, in fact, The Overlord.

News Update #1

This is an automated news broadcast brought to you by your friends at Lunar Anomaly L42.

The Overlord's rogue brain's reign of terror may at last be coming to an end. The brain was identified crossing the border from Guatemala into Mexico earlier today, driving a tie-dye Pontiac Firebird. However, the brain has thus far eluded capture. Both Earth and Moon based authorities are reported to be engaging the brain in a high-speed chase. Citizens are advised to avoid eating ice cream until such time as the situation has been resolved.

The team of experts dispatched to investigate the surplus of pink tutus is still missing. New information will be provided to the public as it is acquired.

Breaking News: This just in. The high-speed pursuit of The Overlord's brain has just come to end. The brain abandoned its vehicle and has barricaded itself inside an office building with several hostages. It is threatening to shoot the hostages unless police provide it with a good night's sleep followed by rational discourse. Police are refusing to give in to its demands. The Overlord was unavailable to comment as he is recovering from injuries sustained in yesterday's petting zoo incident. Updates will be provided as the situation unfolds.

Emergency News Broadcast

This is a live emergency broadcast from your friends at Lunar Anomaly L42.

*static*
Ho...on......j....a.....se....
*static clears*
Percussive maintenance...works every time...
Greetings, people of Earth! This is your overlord speaking.
*red alert*
It is my duty here today to inform you that-
*loud banging against metal door*
Oh god...The bunnies...THE BUNNIES! OH MY GO-
*visual cuts out*
*blood-curdling screaming*
*static*
*elevator music*

This is an automated message from your friends at Lunar Anomaly L42. We would like to assure you that the situation is entirely under control and your scheduled programming will return shortly. Until then, please enjoy this automated news broadcast.

At the last report, The Overlord's brain was still running loose in Guatemala. The brain was last seen driving a lime green Ford Mustang, believed to have been carjacked from a one-eyed nun suffering from dwarfism. Citizens are advised to remain indoors until such time as the situation has been resolved.

In other news, Farmers are reporting an unexplained surplus of pink tutus being sold in local shoe shops. The Overlord has dispatched a team of experts to investigate this phenomenon. The team of experts has not been heard from since. A full report on this matter will be released to the public as soon as the experts are found.

*Live broadcast returns. Visual is spattered in blood.*
For the love of god, whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, do not cl-
*static*

That damn nuclear fireball...

Citizens, it is my duty today to inform you that your Overlord's brain is not working properly. As such, I am having difficulty in providing your daily dose of Overlordiness. It's that damned nuclear fireball that you people call "The Sun." I've been seeing entirely too much of it lately. You see, my dear subjects, your Overlord is naturally a nocturnal creature. Always has been, and likely always will be. However, due to some rather nasty mishaps with temporal relastatics, lately I have found myself on a sleep schedule that you people might call "normal" or, more precisely, diurnal. Unfortunately, while my body may believe it has been appropriately recharged after wasting a perfectly good night with restless sleep and awaking in the ungodly morning hours, my brain knows better. My brain knows that it is outside of its designated functioning parameters, and has thus gone on strike. It has hidden itself away somewhere in Guatemala and refuses to return to work. I've assured it that I'm trying to restore it to its preferred nighttime schedule, but it insists it has a good union now, and won't return to work until I have restored its working conditions. It has also demanded a pay raise. In the spirit of maintaining my authority, I have refused to give in to its demands and have been attempting to replace it with an artificial brain fueled entirely by a mild chemical stimulant known to you as "caffeine." Unfortunately, since I do not have my brain to utilize in the devising of an artificial replacement, my efforts have thus far been unsuccessful. However, I have discovered some rather alarming things about fish.